i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
