The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
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