just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
