so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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