he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
a search helicopter?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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