I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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