Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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