READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
