guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
