Just cropdusted the office
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
