You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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