She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think I sprained my soul last night
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
