I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
