I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
