so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
