I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
