I think scott just propositioned me for sex
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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