Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
