Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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