The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
