Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
