Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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