are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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