Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Redeem this text for a blowjob
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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