Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Too much gin, very little bucket
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
