The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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