Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Operation Purity has been aborted
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
