I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
