It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
