I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
