All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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