No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just blew my weed a kiss
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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