your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
