Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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