Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize