matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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