I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
