she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
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I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
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I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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