Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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