I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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