Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
