Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
