So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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