At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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