I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
