Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
