i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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