I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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