I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
