that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
