that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
