Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
